Do NOT Copy

Do NOT Copy

Christmas from a Cat's Perspective

My name is Speedy, and I have a few complaints I'd like to lodge about the upcoming holiday that the kids are all abuzz about.

Firstly, I am not sure whose idea it was to have this crazy holiday called Christmas right in the middle of prime lap sitting and cat entertaining season. I have an owner who likes to sit on the couch and pet me all day when it's too cold and snowy to go out in the garden, it's not like she has anything else to do. Sometimes she likes to entertain me with yarn and a metal hook or thread and small metal needles. Personally, I'd be much happier if she just got rid of those pesky metal pieces when she wants to play with me, but she seems to prefer using metal stuff for some reason. I assume they must be some sort of counterweights or something. Anyway, this whole Christmas business takes her away from our favorite spot to sit together and she is entirely too busy for our scheduled dates on the couch.

Take, for example, this morning. We were having a nice time watching the news when all of a sudden, she rudely discomforted me when got up and started to make a lot of noise in the kitchen. I waited and waited for her to come back like she usually does, but she didn't! Curious to see what she was up to, I wandered over and started sniffing around. She wouldn't even let me climb on the counter, she kept yelling at me to get off. Boy, was she crabby! I decided to lay by her feet instead, but she just wouldn't stay still. It was very hard to keep up with her. I began to drift off into a nice nap when it suddenly sounded like it was raining in the kitchen. I wonder what that metal rattle was all about.

Startled by the unexpectedness of this experience, I opened one eye to find treats raining down from above. Black, crumbly pieces of sweet tasting goodies were falling on the floor. Boy, did they smell good! I got up, but she wouldn't even let me eat them. Party pooper!

My second complaint has to do with this weird tree that looks like it's made of pine needles, but it's not. It doesn't smell or taste like pine, but somehow I keep forgetting that. I like to play with the nice toys she set up for my sister and I to play with a couple of weeks ago that hang from this tree. Why else would someone put things that dangle from branches of a tree up?

Some of my favorite toys are the ones she made with a string of white pearls that I can rip right off of the bigger, red beaded part of the ornament. So far I have managed to dismantle 4 of these, what fun! I also tried playing with a yellow bear that was playing a drum once, but he ended up being no fun at all. She yelled at me for playing in my new playground too. What is it about this holiday that makes her so darn grumpy anyway?

Then there are these fun paper wrapped boxes that sit under the weird tree too. I like to chew on the neatly folded corners to see if I can get some of that clear sticky stuff off of them. I don't know what her problem is, they open them too...

My final complaint is all of the screeching she likes to do while listening to the radio. I mean she does this occasionally during the rest of the year, but this time of year she screeches along with almost all of the songs that she hears. It's exhausting, I tell you. It's almost enough to make me want to pack my bags and move out!

Thank you for stopping by to chat with me. Please leave me a message, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

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