I Fought the Beast Within

I was all excited about my 4 day stretch of jobs in a row. Well, one Friday and three days this week. Finally God is starting to answer my prayers, the light is breaking through the clouds of my 2 year long storm.

Peanut and I had just arrived in the classroom this morning. She was helping me to get prepared for the day logging in computers and stuff, she's a great helper when she wants to be. Luckily I said a couple of prayers this morning so I was prepared for what was to come.

I prayed that God would give me the strength I need to handle the challenges of the day, that God would help me make good choices that we could all feel good about, and that I would act in a way he would want me to act. It didn't take long for me to need to fall onto those prayers to help me make good choices.

You probably think I'm making too much of nothing here, but I was basically chased out of a job I really enjoyed a few months after moving to town. Without going into any real detail I can only gloss over the issue saying I left the job in tears. I was completely stressed about what would happen to our family now that I wasn't able to keep this job. You see, one of the long time employees kept talking to our supervisor about our problems before trying to work problems out with me. She made me sound like a lazy person who does no work and hurts the kids' physical well being. If you know me at all, you would know those are complete and utter lies. I think she was jealous because I got the job she wanted but wasn't qualified enough to have at the time and I chaged her program without too much discussion with her before changing things.

So, here come this one and the same woman with her stepson 10 minutes before the school day started. I had no idea she had a stepson, but I recognized her immediately. I almost called her by name and briefly debated talking to her, but instead I pretended that I had no idea who this woman was. I could feel the turmoil of all of the old emotions trying to scratch their way to the surface. I knew if I was the first person to say anything I might not be able to remain professional, so instead I chose to say nothing. Maybe that seems a bit cold since I used to consider this person at least an acquantaince, but I just couldn't act nice right then. My heart was pounding and I could hear the blood rushing in my ears. It would do me no good to act in a few of the ways that crossed my mind, besides I didn't feel like getting the children involved anyway. I said a silent prayer in my head and continued to pretend I didn't know her. Maybe someone might say that I was portraying a bit of a lie, but I was determined to take the high road so it was the best coarse of action available to me at the time. I went on preparing for the day chattering with Peanut and praying. I guess she finally felt a bit uncomfortable or something so she mentioned to her stepson how nice I was and that she used to work with me. I managed to choke out the phrase "Oh, I thought you looked familiar.".

Suddenly it felt like a balloon deflated inside me and I really didn't have to pretend any more. Thank God! I hate acting artificial, but how else was I supposed to act when I was left to my own devises?

We chatted for a couple of seconds and then I assume she headed of to work after saying her goodbyes. Most of the rest of the day went well too, with a few stumbling blocks set in my path. Such is expected in the life of a teacher though. Really it wasn't anything I didn't feel capable of handling after coming through that obstacle course with flying colors.

Praise God for anwering prayers so quickly and easily sometimes. Now if I could just figure out the right prayers to say to get the rest of my life in order I'd be all set!

Thank you for stopping by. Please leave me a message and a backlink. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Cindy