Ellen's post about her friend that took her life has really gotten me thinking.
I have been thinking about how my cyber friends have helped me to seek help for my depression. There have been many circumstances in my life that lead me to the path that I am on. Syl and my cousin MT first encouraged me and helped me to see that I souldn't be ashamed of my problems. Because of them I went to my doctor to seek the meds that I needed so much to help me start on my current journey toward making friends and finding happiness again.
I have since met so many wonderful cyber friends who have helped me to turn my life around. I was going nowhere fast even though I had so much potential. I was unmotivated, tired, out of touch, and feeling terrible about everything I could possibly think of. My friends helped to point out to me that I am a worthy person who is smart and deserving even though I didn't feel like I was. I have endeavored to overcome the obstacles that brought me to this place. Even though I still struggle and have bad days, I feel that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
So, I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank those whom I know and those who feel I know (even though I never met them) who have encouraged me along the way.
I may never meet some of these people, I may never hear from some of them again (since I refuse to return to the message boards that brought us together). They have been my angels and brought me back from the brink of despair and helped me to laugh again. To you I will be eternally grateful, and to God who brought you into my life at the time I most needed you.
Thank you for stopping by. Please leave me a message and a backlink. I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Cindy
10 comments:
Hi Cinj, I'm sorry to hear about Ellen's friend. I work with a young woman who's husband took his life right before Thanksgiving, it's been hard, real hard. It's always hard to remember God didn't promise life would be easy but I often wonder why it has to be soooo painful at times but I always remember God is always with me.
You are a great woman after God's own heart! My cyber friend, I am thankful for you!
Kathi :)
I hadn't read about Ellen's friend. People don't realize how important they are to others. We live a super selfish world. I quit being around or listening to negative people and I'm now surrounding myself with positive stuff. It's been very uplifting for me and my family.
Doing more things with my home and family has helped too. Well...just plain growing old is wonderful. The older you get the better your stuff looks. It get's more comfortable year after year and you just don't care what other people think anymore.
We love ya Cinj. My best friend--since birth...is a Pastor's wife and talk about troubles....she has Christian friends that act like little devil children. I told her she's more of a gardener than me cause she weeds more than I do--lol. Cinj there are more weeds than flowers in the world.
Bless you, Cinj, how brave you are! The first step is recognizing that depression isn't some kind of failing--it's caused by a chemical imbalance--and that there's no shame in seeking meds to help you. You've already reached that point so you're on your way! I have at least five dear friends who suffer from depression (one from manic depression, bipolar disorder), so I've watched their struggles and triumphs over the years and I can truly sympathize. Hang in there!!!!
Cinj, I don't fight depression, but I do fight anxiety. I got help four or five years ago, and life just gets better and better. I think of you as a friend and hope you do me too. Hang in there and keep plugging away. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.~~Dee
Anytime babe, happy to help anyone suffering like I was. I'm so glad it's helping.
Thank you all for your kind words!
Kathi- I know, so sad isn't it?
I often find myself starting to wonder the very same question. I often have to correct myslef and try to think about what great adventure that God has in store for me to have to be so well prepared. It's hard to keep that mind set when life seems to be going all wrong though.
Anna- You are so right. Those are excellent steps to take to help yourself and your family live a better life.
I like to think of all of those weeds as beautiful flowers that need to be tended and put in their proper place. After all isn't anything growing in a place we don't want it to grow considered a weed? How beautiful the world would be if we had more well trained "plants" in it!
Ellen- I don't know if I'd call myself brave, it sure took me long enough to do anything about my problem. If I hadn't been so darn stubborn and proud I may have sought help sooner. These types of disorders run in my family, so I need to be careful of both mine and my children's mental health.
Dee- I'm already feeling things getting better. I know that I still have a long way to go, but I feel that I will make it someday. I do consider you a friend. Thanks for you encouragement.
Syl- I had been considering the fact that I "may" have depression for a couple of years before you posted about it. I'm so glad you did. I don't know what's wrong with me that I always seem to need everyone's approval of my decisions. Knowing people that I admire with the same condition makes it easier to admit to. Am I crazy for thinking that way?
There isn't anything crazy about you. You are outspoken so you hear more back from people. That means we expose ourselves more.
Us bloggers like feedback and we get it good and bad. You take the bad well as far as I can tell. You took up for me on HG and many others too. That makes you an excellent friend. Friends are hard to find. I only have one real friend and we only see each other about twice a year. We were born 6 days apart. She's the pastor's wife I was telling you about. She takes me both good and bad. I have these quirky times where I just go off and don't blog or enter the cyber world. She understands and accepts. I don't know why I do it--I'm overwhelmed I guess.
The point is---she's hung in there. You are a hang in there type person. Most people aren't and more people have disappointed me in life than held up their end of the friendship. Being chemically off doesn't help either. I know that menapause is the pits. It makes me feel nuts and I take something to help me. I don't take hormones. I take a depression med so I don't kill my family.
So Cinj--we all need help and I don't mind asking for it. I like how you described the weeds being flowers to some people. Me of all people should take that advice. Seems like I give it. Like violets are weeds in some gardens but flowers in others. I'm glad the meds are doing well for you. Oh yea...my migraine meds are classified as depression meds too--but they have been found to treat migraines. So some meds cross over to other treatments. So even though I'm taking a med for menapause and migraines---they are both taken by depression patients. So there you go!
Anna- Thanks! That's so sweet. I don't know why I need so much feedback all the time. I guess it's because I feel a bit in secure. Well, okay maybe a titch more than a bit....
Most people think their point of view is the only right one. I'm one of those people who can see more than one side of an issue. It makes it hard for me sometimes, but it makes me a bit more flexible as well. I still have friends that I don't even see every year. I just can't give up my best friends from my past. I email them and we keep in touch as much as we can. Busy lives sometimes make that hard. I understand, although I still feel disappointed that I don't hear from them. It's not like people go out of their way to not see me (at least I don't think so...), they just don't always think of it. I'm a pretty patient type of person, as long as I'm not the only one doing all of the giving I can remain a friend even in the tough times.
I'm so proud of myself! I didn't even feel ashamed to tell two people I care about that I think they should talk to their doctor. I've noticed changes in them that seem to parallel things I have noticed in myself. I was worried how they might take it, but they agreed with me.
Many anti depressant drugs are used for a wide variety of applications. It's great to seek help from professionals that help us to be the people we were meant to be. I guess they help us both in different ways.
Hi Cinj, thanks for sharing your challenge with depression. There are so many things in our lives that people aren't aware of.
You certainly have come to the right place to meet positive and uplifting people- the gardeners of the world. I'm not surprised that we are all able to make cyber friends even though we have not met face to face. The reason is that we share our spirit through our words. There are no physical distractions to get in the way.
The garden has always been a spiritual sanctuary for me first, a passion second, a design career third. I feel like I'm in God's presence when I am outdoors and many times I am overwhelmed to the point of tears when I am in a garden (any garden) or out in nature somewhere.
I feel so joyful and close to God there. I think if God created such exquisite beauty in nature, how much more care did he put into our creation?
You mentioned in another post here in your blog that you did not feel that you were "special" in any way. I don't have to meet you to tell you that you are wrong. You are much more beautiful than the most amazing flower and your purpose in life, an important one. We are all a part of a "spiritual eco-system" and you have a role in it that no one else can play. That's exiting!
shirley
shirley
Shirley
Shirley- Thanks for stopping by to visit. You are too kind!
I do love nature as a reminder of what God can do. Nothing is impossible with God. I can only remember getting choked up in church once (well, unexplainably anyway...). He does take excellent care of us. I just need to learn to stop worrying so much!
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