Do NOT Copy

Do NOT Copy

Our Morning Misadventure

While this annoyed me this morning, I thought I may amuse you with a story before I head out today.

I am trying to sleep in for the long trip today. I had a rough night because I was worried about being able to get to all of the right places today. I guess I should have looked at mapquest yesterday. I didn't because Cheesehead told me that his mom and uncle both knew how to get there.

Anyway, at 6:15am I can hear Beauty whining in the living room. She won't stop and it's too early, I'm too tired to be thinking straight, so I get up in a flash. I don't want her to have an accident on my nice carpeting. Both of the dogs go to the garage door acting like they've just GOT to go outside. I hurry up and open the door following them to make sure they stay in the back yard. Mind you I'm wearing my summer nightie that is fairly short. I wasn't worried about being seen by neighbors so I didn't even grab my robe. We were going to stay in the back yard anyway....

We go out through the garage's back door and get to the kennel. The kennel door is ajar. They tear out of the back yard into the front yard. I run after them allowing the door to shut behind me. I didn't want them to find the baby bluebirds!

Suddenly it occurs to me that Cheesehead probably just headed to work and the dogs were sad because he left them. I call the dogs to the back yard. Amazingly they listen to me. We all go into the kennel and try to open the door. I never unlocked it! EEK! I'm cursing the door locks we have. Who makes door locks that you can open without unlocking the door anyway? Now we're stuck outside, the house is locked up tight and there is no way inside except the kids letting us in.

My mind starts whirring with thoughts of how to get back in. I start wishing that we slept with the windows open at night. We don't because Cheesehead is afraid a bear will break in or something. Um, since they're taller than me I really don't think that could happen! Too bad we never got the code programmed for the touchpad on the garage door, I guess that will have to get on the to do list pronto. Our extra key is no longer outside where the builders kept it. I wish I had my purse, I could use my cell phone to call them and let the phone ring until I roused the kids. Oh, if I had my purse I'd have my keys.

It is hazy, hot, and muggy even though it's only 60 degrees. Beauty is whining for me to let her back inside. Gee, if all I ever had to do was whine to get my way I'd whine all the time too. I start knocking on all of the windows and doors of the house to try to rouse them kids. Nothing. I have to go to the front yard. I put the dogs in the kennel hoping the dogs don't figure out they can knock it over just by jumping on the walls.

I am circling the house like a vulture. I can't stay up front long because the neighbors do daycare and some of the other neighbors are leaving for work. I don't want to blind them with my brilliantly white thighs, so I keep circling, knocking, and ylling for the kids.

All of a sudden I hear a strange soft warbling noise that I haven't heard yet. It's the baby birds. Sorry babies, I wasn't even thinking!

Defeated I go to the back yard, wipe the moisture off of the cleanest chair and plop down to plan my next move. I could go over to my favorite neighbor's house and try to use their phone. If I were wearing my other nightgown or had my robe over the top I probably would.

I close my eyes. Man, I am still SO tired. I listen to the birds twittering in the trees. I can hear the robins and the mourning doves. There are several other birds calling too, but I don't know who says what. Some of them are sweetly singing with melodious voices, others are twittering among themselves, I hear chirping, and warbling. At least 6 different bird calls. I am waiting. Sweat is trickling down my body. The dogs are whining. Mosquitos buzz. An eternity passes. I decide to make another round. Still no one stirring inside.

I start grumbling to myself. The kids are usually up early watching tv. Why not today? Grr! I knock on the front door again. The cats come to investigate. They look at my seeming to wonder why I don't come in. I yell "Speedy, go get the kids!". She stares at me blankly. Hmm, I guess she doesn't act as much like a dog as I though she did!

I turn around. Mother bluebird looks at me curiously from her watching post. I'm sure she's wondering why that crazy lady doesn't just go away. I mumble to her that she's lucky she doesn't have a door that locks on her house. I proceed to the back yard to wait. The cycle repeats for what seems like forever.

Suddenly both dogs are looking through the window of the garage door. The kids must be up. I practically sprint to the front yard. Yup, there are both kids. I knock. They open the door and the first words out of theire mouths are "Where are the dogs?". Gee, it sure is nice to be so well loved!

The ordeal lasted an hour and a half. I relate the tale to them. They didn't hear a thing. I go out to get the dogs. Do I have to? If it weren't for the naughty beasts I'd already be ready for my trip. I suppose I should have been getting ready instead of telling you a story, but in retrospect it is somewhat amusing. I sure made MIL laugh when I told her.

Okay, enough procrastinating I need to get to MIL's with enough time to squeeze in both lunch AND an oil change.

I know we just had one, but MAN do I need a vacation!

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